We made it. I am writing this from Jeanne and Bruce's office, Brad's mom and step-dad, respectively. We made one night and roughly 16 hours later than we thought, but hey, WE MADE IT.

Last night, we missed our connecting flight to Fresno in Dallas because of "weather" (otherwise known as the "reason" that American Airlines gives you in order to justify not offering to put up their customers in a hotel because of the inconvenience. "We can't control the weather," they said with long droll faces while handing us a toothbrush and a "distressed passenger discount" for Best Western. "I CAN'T CONTROL MY DISTRESSED FOOT UP YOUR SOON-TO-BE DISTRESSED BUTT," I said. Okay, I just thought of that. Hindsight, GAH.). In addition, American *&^%ing Airlines kept our bags in the airport overnight. Good thing we had a carry-on bag, filled with a change of clothes and toiletries and contact solution and new socks and most of all, MAKEUP, right? MWUAHAHAHA. Right. You know what our carry-on bag had in it? Five books, three magazines, and a brush. Books and magazines don't give you that freshly showered, cleanly dressed and made-up feeling when you see your boyfriend's parents for the first time in a year and a half. I realize that now.

So here I sit, at MJ's computer in California. It feels good to sit here and rack my brain for something to say, on this computer in this office in California that belongs to the parents of the boy that is my favorite.

I've been nervous to come out here, I think I've mentioned that before. Not because Jeanne and Bruce are scary in-law types (because they're not). Not because I thought anything would happen that would make me uncomfortable (because hey, even if it does, I'll deal with it - that's called being an adult, right? I'm working really hard on that, I swear.) It's just that - I've never done this before. I mean, yes, literally, I've never come with Brad to visit his parents in California before, but what I really mean is - I've never flown across the country with my favorite boy to visit his parents for a week and OH MY GOD what if I MESS IT UP, PEOPLE?!

So, yeah. That's sort of how I've felt about it for the past few months since we booked the tickets. The OH MY GOD part. When I break it down, I'm not sure what I could do that would really mess things up, but still, the thought looms in the back of my head. Of course, I've met Jeanne and Bruce before, when they came to stay in Austin one weekend a year and half ago, and we've exchanged emails and cards, but all of that was like the introduction time, you know? The "Brad has a girlfriend, and she's a good person and not a psycho-crazy, and oh yeah, they're pretty serious but also pretty happy" time. But still, we haven't spent enough time together for me to feel as though they know me. I mean, as though they know ME, Lucy Ransdell, the riddle wrapped around a conundrum stuck inside a turkey sandwich. You know, ME. Moody, complicated, smart but not your average Suzy kind of girl.

I guess that's the root of it, really. I'm not your average potential-daughter-in-law. I have this picture in the back of my head of That Girl, the one with the clean house and the pot holders and guest towels and the cable knit sweaters and casserole recipes. Dude, I am not That Girl. I'm not very good at small talk. I don't have names for my future kids picked out. I have website with my real, god-given name on it, and for the most part I try to keep it friendly for the masses but sometimes I just need to say Fuck. I don't have a 401k plan, I don't think, and I don't really know what that is, anyway. I don't feel like I'm prime potential daughter-in-law material, except for the fact that I love Brad more than anything I can think of and somehow we manage to live together, paycheck to paycheck, turkey sandwich to bowl of Ramen, and still get all schmoopy when no one's around.

Now that I'm here, I feel better. I feel like me. I feel like Lucy, the one with the website and the cats and the tendency to stumble over words if I'm talking too fast and the pink suitcases Ryan bought from the thrift store and gave me a few years ago and the big ass and the carry-on bag with Chronicles of Narnia and Bird by Bird instead of makeup and a change of clothes. And, after months of a vague unsettling OH MY GOD feeling, it feels pretty good.

And the shower I took after we got here? Heaven.

Lucy loves you |