Walking to the bathroom at work today, I noticed a flyer taped to the wall that read "YUMMY TUMMEY DAY" in
Comic Sans font. (A hospital pre-admissions office is located behind ours in the complex, and we share a hallway and bathroom with them. The ladies that work there are the type that leave lotion that smells like Freesia or some other ancient herb on the sink counter, so that all who enter have the opportunity to leave smelling like Old for the rest of the day.)
YUMMY TUMMEY DAY.
I had to stop and look, of course. What I found was so amusing that I actually took the flyer off the wall, walked back to our office, copied the flyer, took it back to the hallway, and taped it back on the wall. Here's what it said:
YUMMY TUMMEY DAY
Don't forget that tomorrow, for $1, you can buy a jean ticket and wear your jeans.
You can also buy a bowl of chili tomorrow for lunch with all the fixins.........
cheese, sour cream, and Fritos.
And, Judy has volunteered to be the wonderful person she is and grillus up some hot dogs.
I'm assuming this is to with the chili,
but I have a feeling it's in case everyone's predictions about my cooking are true!!!!!
Either which way, Chili, dogs, and all the fixins will be available tomorrow. Please bring your lunch money!!
Bowls of chili will be $3 each and each dog is $1.50. Any fixins will be .25 cents each. And, Rolaids and Tums will be sold afterward for $5 each!!!
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. Remember, this is for YOU!!!
Thanks everyone in advance!!!!!
The Funn Committee
THIS FLYER MAKES ME FEEL HAPPY ON THE INSIDE. Also:
Dear God/Higher Power/Great Spirit/Universe/Allah/Great Big Void of Nothingness (Whatever your flavor, I ain't here to O-ffend),
Thanks. Thank you for not making me work at place where I have to pay a dollar for a "jean ticket." Truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart. And also - please, please, please, do your best to make sure I don't ever have to work at a place that would make me pay $3 for a bowl of chili, and $1.50 for Judy's dog, and then a quarter of a cent for some damn cheese and another quarter of a cent for some damn sour cream and YET ANOTHER quarter of a cent FOR SOME DAMN FRITOS! That's insane, Yaweh! Who does The Funn Committee think they are anyway, charging THREE DOLLARS for a BOWL of CHILI? THREE DOLLARS? Sounds like someone's trying to make a profit, doesn't it, Jesus's Dad? A dollar fity for a dog? From H.E.B? Assuming it's to go with the Chili? YUMMY TUMMEY DAY my ass, this sounds like Pay Judy's Water Bill Day, now doesn't it? Think on that, now. That ain't right.
Ahem.
Also, Big Man/Woman/Essence of all beings, genders, and sexual preferences, don't be mad that I stole their sign. I put it right back up.
The Big Love,
Lucy
This flyer reminds me of one of my most favorite quotes, from the movie
Say Anything. (Lloyd Dobler, sigh. I heart Lloyd.)(And Brad.)(Brad more than Lloyd.)(Brad is my Lloyd, actually.)
I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.
Amen. I would like to add the following, just as an addendum: I don't want to work for any place that has a Funn Committee that sells jean tickets and charges for sour cream on YUMMY TUMMEY DAY.
I did it! Two in a row!
Lucy loves you |
