Lucy's Phone: Dit doot dit dit doot doot doot dit doot dit

Lucy's Phone: Ring

Lucy's Phone: RING

Lucy's Phone: RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG

Joey's Voicemail: (muffled) Hi. This. Is Joey. I'm all tied up right now. Leave. A message.

Lucy: Heyi! I mean, hi. Heh. I said Hey and Hi at the same time. Heyi. Listen, I have something really important to tell you. You might want to sit down. Now, I love you, and we're good friends, right? That's why I have to tell you something. I have to tell you that your outgoing message makes you sound like Corky from Life Goes On.

(pause)

I'm sorry if that sounds mean. But you really need to do something about that. Call me!

Lucy's Phone: Doot!

[Later this evening, Joey called me back. I didn't answer the phone, mostly because I was scared that she would be in tears, telling me to go to (doot!). She left a message thanking me for being such a good friend, and asking me to call back and check her new outgoing message for traces of Corky.]

Lucy's Phone: Dit doot dit dit doot doot...

Joey's new outgoing voicemail: So today my client points to my stomach and says "Hey, you're fat like Santa Claus", and then my friend Lucy leaves me a message and says that my voicemail sounds like Corky from Life Goes On. So I'm a developmentally disabled, rotund, elderly man who only has a seasonal job. Leave a message.

Touche.

Lucy loves you |