(If you don't watch SATC, you might as well just skip this little rant.)

Dear writers of Sex and the City,

I have been watching your little show since the fall of 2000. Over the years, I caught up on the first seasons that I missed, and eventually (thanks to the release of your show on DVD) I caught up on all of them. That's right. I've seen every single episode. And for that I am not ashamed -- however, you should be.

Ashamed.

In all of my time spent on my couch watching your show, I have never felt so let down. WHAT is this? Within the space of two episodes, Miranda and Steve get back together, get engaged AND married? Excuse me? After you built up her independence, Steve's "Aw Shucks" attitude, his singular tea bag, their incompatibility, her steamy affair with the neighbor? You just stuck stars in her eyes and shipped her off down the river of complacent married life, without subtext or drama or even a hint of ironic amusement? Geez.

As if that weren't bad enough, the whole Carrie and Alexandrrrrrr dancing in the McDonalds scene. No. I repeat, No. It was awkward and, yes, "icky", and if I were in McDonalds witnessing a girl in a hot pink ballon dress and an old man slow dance while I waited for them to pay me for the Supersize fries they just ordered, I would be forced to turn on the hose on them (you know, the one in the kitchen that they clean their floors with).

Also, please keep in mind that if Aidan doesn't make an appearence by the end of the series, there will be some serious consequences. If I can think of any.

As far as Samantha goes, that was a bad move. You can't take a character that has been one-dimensional for the better part of 8 seasons and ask us to accept her as anything other than the (beloved) brazen hussy of the show. As far as we know, Samantha doesn't even have parents, much less a family, and she doesn't have a background as anything other than an aging, party-hopping, well-known (in the biblical sense), self-obsessed socialite. Why do we have to watch her come to grips with her own mortality? Why can't we just watch her come to grips with a new guy in every episode, like the good old days?

Ugh. What's left - Charlotte? I've never felt much for Charlotte one way or another. This episode didn't change that. There you go writers, that's the best compliment I can give you right now - as far as Charlotte's story line is concerned, you maintained. Woo.

The last two episodes were the weakest of the entire series, in my opinion. What kind of gift is that to give to the fans of your work, the ones who have watched your characters go though all the twisted and convoluted character arcs you've created, the very people who pay for HBO just to watch your show? It's a disappointment, that's what it is.

I'm willing to give you another chance, though. I'll give you six episodes with which to win back my affections, six episodes to make me laugh and make me blink away tears, six episodes to give me and my friends and all your loyal viewers the chance to feel connected through stories of common or imagined experience.

Please don't let me down again.

Sincerely,

Lucy Ransdell

P.S. The last scene of tonight's episode, where the four girls are sitting near the window and Samantha tells Miranda she has cancer - okay, I admit - that scene made me cry, just a little. But mostly because I'm an emotionally sensitive person, not because you did a good job writing it or anything. I'm just saying.

Lucy loves you |