Serious McSentimentalPants here. How's it going?

Enough with the sweet stuff. I think it's time we got back to regularly scheduled programming, i.e.: Things That Give Lucy A Headache, Tonight at 10 p.m. CST.

1) The Littlest Groom on Fox

"The Littlest Groom," the new FOX reality miniseries, is out to prove love really does come in all sizes. The two-part special goes where no other reality show has gone before by helping a little person find true love with a woman of his own stature -- with a few surprising twists on the way!

I can't think of a single comment I can put here that wouldn't come out sounding terribly wrong. It's not the Little People on this show that give me a headache, it's picturing the Fox network executives sitting around a conference room table agreeing that this show was a good idea. It's imagining the "hell yeah!"s and the "oooh, that's good"s that were uttered in that room when the "surprising twist" was revealed.

Should your height determine whom you find attractive? Of course not! THE LITTLEST GROOM will venture where no other show has gone by helping a young man who is 4’5” tall to find true love. Initially believing he will choose among women of similar stature to his own, he later discovers, in a surprising twist, that some average-sized women will enter the picture. Will his ideal mate be a little person, or will she be of average height?

Because I am an addict and reality TV is my fix, I watched Part Une of the "mini"-series tonight. (Parenthetical #1: pun intended.) (Parenthetical #2: What else am I supposed to do while making dinner? Geez!)

My heart was forever broken by the looks on the female Little People's (Little Women's?) faces when they realized they would be competing with "average-sized" girls for this guy's affection. It was horrible. I may never recover.

2) Thanks to Brad's obsession with the song Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, I have "Wait - they don't love you like I love you" running through my head, one hundred times a minute, permanently. Don't get me wrong - this song is pretty much perfection; it's just a weird soundtrack for my day, that's all.

You can see the video here. Where was this song when I was 17 years old?

3) In less than two weeks I will be 27 years old.

4) That was a shameless birthday plug, yet I am not ashamed.

5) Richard Marx won a GRAMMY last week. Ahem. Where's my statue, y'all? Surely I get one if he does.

6) Did you hear that Barbie and Ken broke up? They're just friends now. It's cool.

7) Trishelle is starring on two shows at the same time. If you type in the word "Trishelle" into yahoo, her MTV bio is the first thing on the list - no last name needed. Trishelle made out with Andy Dick AND Vanilla Ice. Trishelle is everywhere. Trishelle is the devil. Ever wonder if her father still speaks to her? Trisheeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllle. Trisheeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle. She haunts me in my sleep. Trisheeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllle.

Speaking of sleep, my head is killing me - two aspirin and I am out. Peace!

Lucy loves you |